It has been 10 months and over 3 weeks since surgery, and I now weigh 269lbs. Total weight lost is around 224lbs. And I am very happy about that, but, haven’t been really celebrating much lately.

See, around a month and a half ago I started noticing a few drops of blood in my urine. At first I thought it was just a freak thing, but after around a week I realized it was still happening and something must be wrong. I first told my bariatric surgeon about it, did a couple of tests for him, and he said I needed to see a urologist. Long story short, I saw a urologist. He did a urinalysis in his office at the time and confirmed that the blood was still in my urine. He did some other tests on me, including a prostate exam, and then told me I needed to have a CT Scan and another urine culture test.

I made an appointment at the hospital for last Thursday September 27, and went in to have my exam. They told me no eating or drinking for at least 4 hours before the test. I said, “even water” and she confirmed that I could not even have water. That day I woke up at 8am and my test was at noon. So I did not drink or eat anything once I got up. I got to the appointment on time and went to the admitting department of the hospital. From there they gave me the hospital wristband and sent me outside to the waiting room to be called. Before too long I got taken to the CT Scan room and I was laying flat on my back on the slab that fed you into the machine. I needed to have an IV put in because they needed to shoot a contrast, or iodine, into me. This is where the fun began.

I have always been a big guy so I don’t exactly have veins popping out of my arms. As nurses would say, I was always a “tough stick”. But after losing over 200lbs I thought it might be a little easier to find a vein for an IV in one of my arms. Apparently not, as they paraded in nurse after nurse to try to find one on me. No one was successful, and they just kept sticking me over and over. They tried both hands and arms to no avail. After a half hour, they told me I was dehydrated and needed liquids to open my veins up. I said, you told me not to drink anything or 4 hours though. Then they told me it was okay to drink, just not to eat anything. So I went home very unhappy and had to make another appointment for the following Monday(2 days ago).

I was anxious all weekend waiting for my test. There is nothing more frustrating than knowing something is wrong inside of you and not knowing what it is. Almost every time I go to the bathroom I am reminded that something is very wrong, and it is not a good feeling. I can be in the middle of a great day, but once I see those few drops of blood I immediately get other thoughts going through my head. It sucks, it really does. It sucks more when you let yourself think about what it can be. I am trying not to, but not being so successful at it.

Since this all started I have been smoking. I had a few cigarettes about two weeks ago, and then bought a pack last Thursday night. I have despised smoking since I quit, but that hasn’t stopped me from doing it again. It’s taken me a week, and I gave one away, but I only have 1 left. I hope it is out of my system now and I don’t want to buy another, but I was weak and gave in. I have noticed I have been drinking more too. I am not a big drinker at all, but have had a few cocktails of late. I am not getting crazy drunk or anything, but it is definitely a change from what is my norm. I just want to know what is wrong with me and figure out what needs to happen to make this stop.

So I went back on Monday for the CT Scan at 10am and after 3 more people tried, they finally got the IV in. The test went relatively smoothly. They did the Scan without the contrast, then they inject the iodine into you and a very warm feeling comes over your stomach and lower abdomen. It is a very odd feeling, and something I never experienced before. It wares off after a few minutes. Then you wait for the contrast to reach where it needs to, which takes about 20 minutes. After the 20 minutes they take the test and you are able to leave the hospital.

It has been 2 days since the test and almost everything that goes through my head these days has to do with the impending test results. I have a follow-up with the urologist on Friday(2 days from now) to see what they find with those tests.

I lost my best friend Aaron to rectal cancer in 1999. I bring that up for a couple of reasons. I recently had a chance to meet up with his sister, who was visiting California, and we got to catch up and share stories about her brother. I had not seen her since his passing and it was long overdue to do something like that. I also bring him up because of my prostate exam. It sucked, but made me think a lot about Aaron. When Aaron first went to the doctor to see what was wrong with him, he had to have a prostate exam. He told me about it afterwards and we laughed and laughed about it. How odd and uncomfortable it was. Jon Stewart had a routine about it as well, and he concurred he had the same experience he spoke about in his stand up special. After my exam, and all the absurdity of a guy telling you to drop your drawers and bend over, I could not help but think of him and those times. When I got out of the office and thought of Aaron I just started laughing at how right he was. I wished he was here to talk about it with. Now I could relate. Aaron was only 27 when he died.

So it is Wednesday night now and I stayed in all day today. I started cleaning my room, but didn’t get very far. I found some old clothes that were too big now and put them in some bags. I paid my storage bill. And then I decided to come here and write some stuff down about what has gone on in my life. Earlier in the day I had planned to do so much, but just didn’t get around to any of it. That has happened a lot recently.

My doctor’s appointment is at 10am on Friday, so I should hopefully know something about what is going on with my body that morning. I am hoping for good news… obviously. I know the news can be anything really. I am hoping I am able to go to New York in a few days as well. One of my nieces, Emelia, is having her baptism on the 14th and I hope to be there for that. I haven’t been able to see my nieces in a few months, and a trip to see them all would be nice right about now.

In a week I will be at the 11 month mark, and just 1 month short of a year since my surgery. I also have my birthday coming up in less than a month. I am hoping it will be a good month and a real happy time coming up. I had thoughts of planning something big like a party or something around that time, but haven’t really thought about it much lately. I am hoping when I reach the 1 year anniversary of my surgery, there will be a lot to be happy about. Til next time…

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This entry was posted in anxiety, Gastric Bypass, Health, Health and Weight, Surgery, Uncategorized, Weight Loss and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to

  1. Patty says:

    I’ll be sure to keep you in my prayers over the next few days. {{{{ Hugs }}}}

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